A New Outlook

Okay… so I haven’t really had the time to post anything here… but a great deal has happened since I have been here at Surface Force IDC School.

This past advancement cycle, I managed to somehow pick up HM1 on the test, as well as complete the didactic portion of school with a cumulative GPA good enough that had I not advanced, I still would have been advanced upon graduation.

I received orders back to my Operational Home… the FDNF out in Yokosuka, Japan. I will be taking over as the Senior Medical Department Representative aboard the USS STETHEM (DDG 63).

Since making E-6, my whole view on the Navy as a whole has changed quite a bit. I find myself trying to find answers to gripes instead of joining in on the “bitch and complain” parade. Instead of controversial, I am aiming for mature and responsible solutions to whatever issues may plague me or sailors around me. Especially since I am headed to a ship again. And as SMDR aboard a ship, I will be in a sense a Department Head… (On small ships, medical is a department and not a division.) Although still a blue shirt in uniform, I need to step up my game and do the job that both of my last IDCs have trained me for.

I am excited, I am anxious, and I am also terrified. But I’ve been told, that if you don’t fear the job that I have been training for, you are more likely to kill someone or make a serious mistake… so a certain amount of fear is both healthy and necessary.

Graduation can’t come soon enough… I just can’t wait to get back to being a real sailor again. It is true when they say that you never really realize what you have until it’s gone… because this past year on shore has been more tedious and trying than any day out to sea. More to come… bear with me… this blog may end up being active again real soon.

The Power of Words

It’s funny just how powerful words can truly be. When you put them on paper, or publish them online, they can become as powerful as any tangible weapon. Take blogging for instance… there are at least two other bloggers from my ship that post pretty regularly, and between the three of us, we get quite a bit of read time from a portion of the chain of command onboard our ship. Our voices, while small, are starting to be heard. One of the bloggers struck a nerve just the other day, which resulted in some of the leadership having to call a meeting to address some of the issues that were brought up in his blog.

Inadvertently, we are starting to have a miniscule effect (at least, I like to think that we are having a little effect) I am slowly seeing some change (although not enough for others to notice.) For the record, I have to annotate, that the injustices I tend to rant about don’t always affect me. I am in the unique position of having a supportive chain of command (at least, the immediate chain is relatively strong.) The things I tend to rant about primarily affect the junior personnel onboard. But once upon a time, I was that junior guy. While things for me were no where as bad, I can totally empathize and see exactly why they act out the way that they do.

As far as my job is concerned; I love it still to this day. Granted, I am extremely burnt out… but I still wake up and get to do a job that (while often thankless) has tangible results and leaves me fulfilled at the end of the long day. While being aboard this ship in excess of 40+ months has been anything but good for my psychological or mental health, I still enjoy what I do. In the end, I think that’s what really matters too. I get paid to do a job that I thoroughly enjoy, although I have to endure a bit of morale abuse.

I also have the knowledge that this evil place is NOT the US Navy, but a hellish faction of it that doesn’t exist outside of it’s own crappy universe. I just feel bad for the first term sailors who get out of the navy after only seeing this command. The constant demands and under appreciation tend to wear on those new sailors and they pretty much become disillusioned with the Navy and end up going back to whatever hole they crawled out of in civilian life… for some, even being poor and homeless is better than subjecting yourself to the harsh lifestyle of the FDNF (or more importantly my ship.) “STAY NAVY” has become a joke as opposed to a realistic option for most. Hell, I’m only staying because I still enjoy what I do and have a soon to be family to support. I was once an unconditional lifer, but this place has beat that motivation out of a once Gung-ho sailor. I just count the days until I leave this place, and pray that I never have to step foot on this god-forsaken ship ever again.

A Sailor's Life is the Life For Me

I am a firm believer that you have never truly seen the sun set until you have seen it out at sea. The most serene and picturesque sunset that I have experienced was the first one that I witnessed onboard my first ship at sea. The Sky was orange and silver as the stars made their way out to shine. The water was smooth as glass and calm as my ship gently glided through. Silver in color, yet somehow still deep and blue, you could hear the ship’s bow as it cut ever so tenderly through the water as we pressed on forward. The sun was a radiant orange and red and as it touched on the horizon it almost looked as if it had been extinguished as the sky changed from the orangey-silver to the deep black of night.

This, among many other reasons is why I love being a sailor. I love being at sea. There is a serenity that can only be found on the water in the middle of nowhere where you have no where to go and nothing to see but clouds, stars, and water. If you haven’t guessed by now, I am once again out to sea for the ump-teenth time. And while most complain and gripe about it, I actually enjoy it. I look forward to it. I live for it. I can’t imagine life if I couldn’t have time underway. In all reality, I find myself working a billion times harder when I’m out to sea, but that is part of what makes an underway fly by, the constant working into the wee hours of the night, since in all reality, you have nothing better to do anyhow.

I know that this will all change once I am married and my wife and step-son are waiting for me on the shore. But I still think that I will enjoy my time on the open water. And when you stop to really evaluate things, being a sailor can keep a relationship fresh and new… (The time away will usually make the heart grow fonder, and returning after weeks or months at sea is like returning to a new relationship.) Being a sailor grants you, no, affords you the necessary space that every relationship needs every now and again. And even though I love my future wife more than anything, I wouldn’t trade my life as a Sailor for anything. Sure there are a whole slew of negatives with being a sailor… but when I stop and truly analyze things, I would have never found my fiancé if it weren’t for the navy. (We met through mutual friends acquired thorough the navy, and she lives in a part of the Philippines that I may have never gone to if it weren’t for our mutual friends.)

Factor in the new and exotic places that are possibilities… if it weren’t for the US Navy, I would have never seen the many places that I’ve been in the world. Mini-Vacations if you will (when you get time off that is…) compliments of the United States Government. So while others may complain, you will hear nothing of the sort from me. For a Sailor’s Life is the Life for me, and I love to be on the open sea…