02 June 2008

My time here is almost through...


In a mere 47 days I will depart my current command.  I am at the point now where I am starting to reflect on where I have been, and where I am going.  I have made thousands of decisions while here in the FDNF.  Some good, some bad, but all have made me into the person I am today.  One part of me regrets my previous posts, while another does not.  It’s good for me to see who I once was, and who I am today.  And while my previous posts may have struck a chord with a few, I do regret the way that they appeared and were carried out.  There were things that should have been brought up before airing out in public, and for that I truly apologize to the offended parties.  While I have tried to keep my posts as generic as possible without direct mention of names, it is only common knowledge aboard my ship as to who it is or am referring to. 


Those posts were wrong of me; and again, I apologize.  However, I am currently not retracting them, because as I have stated before, I like to look back at where I was.  (It really helps me see the greener grass on the other side if you will.)  In all retrospect, my command is not bad.  It was the ridiculous restrictions imposed by the FDNF itself, coupled with some of the more stringent rules that my command imposed to cover it’s ass… from a logistical standpoint, it makes sense.  There is a reason why my command has one of the best reputations for not having anyone truly mess up in the Japanese Public, and the stringent rules of yesterday where probably the sole reason.


I had a Career Development board a month or so ago, and I was able to take some pretty good advice from it.  It really didn’t revolve around my Naval Career as most CDBs do… (it was mentioned that I am on the right track and have my head on relatively straight.)  It was more focused on having a successful family life while continuing my life as a sailor.  And the knowledge imparted on me was from a Sailor whose career is coming to it’s twilight.  But this blog site was brought up in the process, and while I was told before just how it affected some people before, it didn’t really sink in until I had my CDB.  For one of the people to mention it in a semi-public forum only solidified the way that my typed words resonated leaving a great deal of disappointment and confusion.  Again, I apologize. 


I apologize for not being mature enough to bring my issues up when I should have, vice blurting them out here in cyberspace… if I could go back and do it all over, I would have done it the right way vice the wrong… but every decision made creates the person I have become today, and in some aspects, I feel myself to be a better person as a result of the roads I have taken.


Trust me when I say that this blog is far from complete… it’s just late, and I am ready for some sleep.  Until next time…